Beginnings

January 2, 2012
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I swore to myself that I wouldn’t write something about New Years, resolutions, change, etc.  But this word “beginnings” is on my mind for a couple reasons.  One, I am teaching a Human Development course at the University of British Columbia and I’ve titled the first class, “Beginnings” to both address the beginning of the [...]

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Perspective Through the Holidays

December 19, 2011
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Last year at this time I wrote an article entitled Holiday Depression, addressing the fact that for many people this is a difficult time of year.  Check that article out if you feel it is relevant to your life. This year I want to address how we can actively have perspective around the holidays.  What [...]

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Generation Possibility | the paralysis of younger generations

December 5, 2011
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I wrote a piece not too long ago entitled “The Lost Generations” that addressed some issues with the younger, more postmodern generations.  I want to write on this topic again using some theoretical concepts from two authors.  Ernest Becker, who wrote The Denial of Death, and Soren Kierkegaard, famous philosopher and writer. The reason for [...]

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Denial of Death

November 21, 2011
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I am currently reading Ernest Becker’s revolutionary book, The Denial of Death.  It has me thinking about many things: my own personal life, the life of my clients and my practice in general, and my future studies.  Becker’s treatment of our denial of death is powerful and hauntingly accurate.  Because we live with the reality [...]

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Letting Go of Your Partner’s Addiction

November 6, 2011
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Term: I’m going to use the term “addicted relationship” to mean when one person has an addiction and the other does not. Being in a relationship with someone who has any sort of addiction can be downright exhausting and maddening.  I want to address an aspect of what happens in many relationships where addiction is [...]

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The Yin and Yang of Explanation and Experience

October 24, 2011
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We all want an explanation for our lives, our behavior, our thoughts, and for how the world works.  We search it out, we think about it, we observe our lives and those of one’s close to us.  We are told it is possible to figure things out if we just think about it long enough.  [...]

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Thoughts to Chew On

October 10, 2011
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Anger is the way out of complacency. Repression amplifies. Love is not enough. Freedom is as freedom does. Operating from fear brings irony. Anger is a gift from your soul. Anger is your voice. Relationships are necessary. Children are genius. We grow up to grow down. Compassion isn’t pretty. Anxiety is a trick. There are [...]

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Therapy Is No Quick Fix

September 26, 2011
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When I first started writing this column, part of my motivation was to bring more knowledge and understanding to the process of counselling/psychotherapy. I have not done enough of this.  It is not something we know much about until we actual engage in it.  So when people are looking into getting counselling, all they have [...]

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Childbirth & the Reality of Pain

September 12, 2011
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My wife gave birth to our third child this past weekend.  Yes, we are sleep deprived and the other two are acting out in adjustment to such a major change to their world.  She is beautiful and healthy and mom is doing well too.  We are all in recovery/adjustment mode. Minutes after my daughter was [...]

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The Lost Generations

September 5, 2011
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The Lost Generations: Function and Addiction in Generations X, Y, and Z. When I was working in a drug and alcohol treatment center, I noticed a phenomenon occurring.  As the program coordinator, it was my job to talk to a lot of parents and family members of the addicted.  I also did a small amount [...]

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De-Cluttering the Mind

August 29, 2011
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What makes you feel simple and grounded?  For me, it is the smell of the inside of a certain type of book, or watching my children play.  Sometimes it’s just walking outside.  What helps you get back to the basics.  Yoga and meditation focus on the breath because it is the closest thing to focusing [...]

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Momentum

August 22, 2011
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For people quitting addiction, one of the most difficult aspects is not the actual quitting, is not accepting they have a problem, it’s continuing to maintain that change; it’s keeping momentum. Before I get into that, I’m not saying the other two steps are not a difficult aspect of change for many people.  Deciding we [...]

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Waiting for Direction

August 15, 2011
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Do we ever really know where we’re going?  Many people come to therapy to figure out where they are going.  It seems that some people have a clear direction and go after it, while others struggle to find direction.  I’m sure even the people who have clear direction feel doubts from time to time and [...]

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The Lie of Psychotherapy

August 8, 2011
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In any growth endeavor we can often feel that once we do the work and experience some healing, we’ll have arrived, living happily ever after.  I know I fell/fall prey to this lie and there is nothing better than life itself to smash this kind of naiveté to pieces.  I’ve noticed other clients wanting to [...]

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Expanding Services

August 3, 2011
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I am expanding my helping services to include life coaching and consulting. I’m going to explain what these services are about and how they fit into my current practice of counselling/psychotherapy. I have a new website that is mostly finished (a couple things to do) so please stop by and check it out. Also, if you know [...]

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Environment

July 26, 2011
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There are many philosophies to what contributes to our development.  In the psychological world it is mostly focused on the internal life of the individual, such as thoughts and emotions; in social work the focus is mostly on the systems within which people find themselves, such as family, work, or culture; in medicine the focus [...]

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Relationships for Adults

July 18, 2011
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One area of relationships that I tend to help clients pay attention to is their own self in the relationship. We can often become quite preoccupied with what the other person is doing wrong that we miss our own ability and power to either do something about it, or not let it affect us so [...]

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Four Noble Truths of Addiction

June 13, 2011
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Buddhism is founded upon what Siddhartha Gautama realized were the four noble truths of human existence.  I want to take those four noble truths and apply them specifically to addiction.  I have considered writing an e-book on this very topic, deepening what I am going to write here.  I’m just going to briefly touch on [...]

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Shame and Modern Thought

June 6, 2011
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One could say that a huge reason people seek therapy or struggle in life is due to some aspect of shame. Shame is a sense that something is wrong with us, that we are flawed to the core.  Guilt is about doing something wrong and shame is more about being wrong.   Now, you might say, [...]

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When Things Are Going Well

May 30, 2011
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Although there are many great aspects to psychology and psychotherapy, one pitfall is that sometimes we can get too focused on problem solving.  This can sometimes keep us stuck in only seeing the world as problems to be solved.  For a lot of the time in therapy this is necessary otherwise people would not really [...]

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